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MAYA'S ADOPTION JOURNEY

WELCOME TO MY JOURNEY TO BRING MY DAUGHTER, MAYA GRACE HOME FROM GUATEMALA. DURING THIS JOURNEY I HAVE STUMBLED OVER MANY MOUNTAINS ONLY TO BUILD MY FAITH. THIS HAS BEEN ONE OF THE HARDEST JOURNEY'S OF MY LIFE AND IT HAS THE GREATEST PRIZE AT THE END. I CAN'T WAIT FOR THEM TO PLACE MY DAUGHTER IN MY ARMS FOREVER. MY DREAMS WILL THEN BE REALITY!!!

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Tuesday, December 26, 2006

MY HEART LEFT IN A LITTLE BLUE CAR!!

THIS WAS RIGHT SIDE UP WHEN I LOADED. MAYA IS SO FUNNY.
HEY, MOMMY WHAT IS THIS THING ON MY LEG? IT MOVES!!!
LAST FAMILY PHOTO!!! SHE WAS HAPPY AND I WAS TRYING TO BE.
MAYA WAS WATCHING THE TREES BLOW. SHE WAS TALKING TO THEM. WONDER WHAT SHE WAS SAYING???
I'M FALLING AND I CAN'T GET UP.

A HUGE CHUNK OF MY HEART LEFT IN A LITTLE BLUE CAR ABOUT 2 HOURS AGO. IT GETS HARDER EVERY TIME TO LEAVE HER. WE HAD SO MUCH TIME TOGETHER, JUST MOMMY AND DAUGHER TIME. I AM TOTALLY IN LOVE WITH THIS KID. SHE HAS STOLEN MY HEART. I FEEL THAT WE REALLY DID SOME MAJOR BONDING. I THINK SHE LOVES ME ALSO AND THAT SHE CAN FEEL MY LOVE FOR HER. I WAS SORT OF HOPING THAT SHE WOULD BE SLEEPING WHEN SHE LEFT, BUT SHE JUST WANTED TO PLAY AND LAUGH. WHEN I GAVE HER TO THE FOSTERMOM SHE LOOKED RIGHT INTO MY EYES AND JUST SMILED. I KNOW THAT SHE IS VERY WELL LOVED AND TAKEN CARE OF. THE FOSTER FAMILY WAS SO EXCITED TO SEE HER. THAT MAKES ME FEEL SO MUCH BETTER ABOUT LEAVING HER. I AM NOT WORRIED AT ALL ABOUT HER CARE. I GUESS MY FEELINGS ARE SELFISH, I JUST WANT HER HOME. I THINK BEING HERE ALONE MADE GIVING HER BACK HARDER. I FEEL SO LOST. THE PEOPLE IN THE GIFT SHOP WAS ASKING WHERE IS THE BABY, ALL I COULD DO WAS CRY. IT'S JUST NOT FAIR. WHY DOES THIS PROCESS TAKE SO LONG? I DON'T THINK THAT I WILL EVER UNDERSTAND.

posted by Ginger--Maya's mommy @ 5:42 PM  

22 Comments:

  • At 7:35 PM, Blogger ~Kristen said…

    You are in my thoughts....
    I know there is nothing that could make you feel any better than being with Maya, so I will be praying for a faster out of PGN!!

     

  • At 7:36 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said…

    You're not selfish for wanting your baby home where she belongs. She knows her mommy loves her very much and will be back for her hopefully very soon. Big cyber hug as I know this is a rough day.

     

  • At 7:41 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said…

    Hang in there Mommy. We all know the feeling well. Just cherish that time you had with you. You'll be back soon.

     

  • At 7:42 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said…

    I'm so sorry - I know how hard it is. I hope she will be home with you for good very soon!

     

  • At 7:59 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said…

    I'm so sorry!! I can't imagine, but soon will feel it for myself! I'm not looking forward to it, but I hear the experience of being with baby still can outway the pain of leaving!

     

  • At 9:01 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said…

    Nothing can take that hurt away. It is so hard to watch them leave...but hopefully this process will be over sooner rather than later and then you will be together, and the photos from this trip will be a treasured memory.

     

  • At 9:51 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said…

    I am so sorry that you are having to go through this. I'm sure it was a very difficult, yet reassuring moment when her foster mom was so happy to see her. She'll be well taken care of until you go back very soon to pick her up! You and Maya will continue to be in our prayers.

     

  • At 9:55 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said…

    OOOH Ginger--I just wrote if you need anything --anything at all just tell me --I am praying for you--Maya loves you sooo much--It is written all over her face in the photos!!! She looks like seh just lights up around you!!!! You will be with her soon and never have to give her back!!!!! Take care of that big heart of yours OK? I am praying for God to give you peace and comfort!!! He is bigger than the process in Guatemala --lets pray you are with her sooner than you ever imagined okay?!!!!

     

  • At 3:14 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said…

    Ginger, thanks for your email. I'm sad for you, but I know in my heart Maya will be home soon. She is a happy, bubbly, alert baby girl with so much fun in her spirit. You are a wonderful family, and soon will be together forever!!!

     

  • At 4:28 AM, Blogger Sig said…

    Oh, darn I am fighting tears, knowing fully well what you are going through. I am sorry. We WILL have our babies home SOON.

     

  • At 7:52 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said…

    Ginger,

    Maya is SO gorgeous and I love all her outfits. You got to spend Christmas with her and that is so special and nobody can take away your memories.

    I know how you feel. There is no describing that emptiness and longing when you leave and nobody can understand how awful and unfair it is unless you have been through it. There are no words. Just know that it will mean a lot to Maya when she is older that you did this for her.

    Think happy thoughts of getting out of PGN in the new year and she is still very young! You are so lucky to have her and that she has you!

    You are not selfish. She is your daughter and your are her Mommy and you should be together! What your feeling shows the bond and the love between you!

    Sorry this is long! Just wanted you to know I am thinking of you and understand!

    Hugs,
    Carrie

     

  • At 7:55 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said…

    Selfish.. NOPE! I have been 8 times! The kast time I left Sophie she went back kicking and screaming, I was happy. I know she is taken care of and that is all that matters, but we will never be happy till they are HOME WITH US!

     

  • At 8:21 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said…

    (((((HUGS))))))) Ginger, all this pain is going to be behind us all very soon. Maya is going to be home with her mommy who loves her sooooooooooooooo much before you know it. Until that time she is in the arms of Jesus who is caring for her and watching over her. And you are in His arms too - you are in my prayers, Ginger. It hurts so badly to leave without your child and I pray the next time you go to Guatemala is take her home with you.

     

  • At 8:56 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said…

    It definitely is not fair. She has grown so much and those smiles are just precious. It makes the waiting so much harder.....

     

  • At 10:32 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said…

    Of course Maya loves you. She knows who her mamma is and how lucky she is. You two are blessed to have eachother. I'll be praying that your heart finds peace. Take care of yourself.

    Megan

     

  • At 11:25 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said…

    Ginger,IT IS SO HARD...beyond difficult. I am so sorry. Hang on & keep your eye on the prize!!!

    I'll be visiting AND LEAVING Sofia again in less than a month and it is so bittersweet ALREADY!

     

  • At 7:45 PM, Blogger Krystal said…

    Maya is such a happy girl!! I love seeing all of her smiling pics :)

    I am so sorry that you are going through this heartache, but remember it is TEMPORARY!!! Soon, Maya will be home forever :)

     

  • At 8:35 PM, Blogger JuJu - said…

    Boy do I hurt with you tonight - it is the toughest thing - to give your baby to somebody else and leave the country! It stinks!!!!

    I am praying for you Ginger and I am so thankful that soon - very soon Maya will be home for GOOD:):):

    Julia;)

     

  • At 9:47 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said…

    Hopefully the next time you go down will be to bring her home. Let's hope that it is very soon.

    Soon enough you'll be chasing her down off of the steps, out of the trash, under the crib.......

     

  • At 6:59 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said…

    I know exactly how you feel! Your baby girl will be home forever soon. Hugs and prayers to you.

     

  • At 9:02 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said…

    For a little fun, I just tagged you on my blog.

     

  • At 12:00 PM, Blogger Betsy said…

    You will have her in your arms forever not too long from now. Hang in there! Believe me, you won't remember PGN Hell a couple of months after having Maya home.

    Ginger, Maya is so beautiful. I love her big smile.

     

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Location: Alabama, United States

I am a single mother with a daughter from Guatemala. I brought her home on August 21st, 2007. I am loving every second of motherhood. Maya is the love of my life. I can't imagine life without her. I thank God everyday that she is home in my arms.

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