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MAYA'S ADOPTION JOURNEY

WELCOME TO MY JOURNEY TO BRING MY DAUGHTER, MAYA GRACE HOME FROM GUATEMALA. DURING THIS JOURNEY I HAVE STUMBLED OVER MANY MOUNTAINS ONLY TO BUILD MY FAITH. THIS HAS BEEN ONE OF THE HARDEST JOURNEY'S OF MY LIFE AND IT HAS THE GREATEST PRIZE AT THE END. I CAN'T WAIT FOR THEM TO PLACE MY DAUGHTER IN MY ARMS FOREVER. MY DREAMS WILL THEN BE REALITY!!!

Lilypie 2nd Birthday Ticker

Monday, January 22, 2007

GUESS I REALLY SCREWED UP!!!

WELL, I GUESS I REALLY SCREWED UP BY EXPRESSING MY FEELING ON A POST A COUPLE OF WEEKS AGO. MY CASE HAS STOPPED. NOTHING IS HAPPENING. I DON'T KNOW WHEN I WILL EVER BRING MAYA HOME. THIS PROCESS IS SO UNFAIR. THEY WANT YOU TO RUSH AND GET ALL THE DOCUMENTS NOTARIZED, CERTIFIED, AND AUTHENTICATED. FOR WHAT, TO JUST WAIT AND WAIT AND WAIT. I HAVE CALLED AND E-MAILED EVERYBODY THAT I KNOW. MY AGENCY DIRECTOR IS CALLING AND E-MAILING ALSO. NEITHER OF US HAS HEARD ANYTHING ABOUT WHAT IS GOING ON. WHEN I WAS IN GUATEMALA IN DECEMBER MY LAWYER GAVE ME HIS E-MAIL. HE SAID THAT IF I HAD ANY QUESTIONS ABOUT MY CASE THAT I COULD E-MAIL HIM. WELL, I E-MAILED HIM YESTERDAY AND STILL HAVE NOT HEARD FROM HIM. I WISH THEY WOULD JUST TELL ME SOMETHING. I HAVE PREPARED MYSELF FOR THE WORST POSSIBLE THING. I AM SO TIRED OF GETTING MY HOPES UP ONLY TO BE HURT. WHY DID HE TELL ME THAT EVERYTHING WAS GOING GREAT? WHY DID HE TELL ME THAT I WOULD BE IN PGN THE 1ST WEEK OF JAN.? STILL DON'T HAVE PROOF THAT I AM IN. I FEEL REALLY SICK ABOUT ALL OF THIS. I KNOW THIS SOUNDS NEGATIVE AND MAYBE IT IS, BUT IT IS JUST THE WAY I FEEL RIGHT NOW. I AM AT THE END OF MY ROPE AND DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO. I HAVE BEEN PRAYING SO HARD THAT NOTHING IS WRONG. THAT IS ALL I CAN DO RIGHT NOW. I JUST DIDN'T REALIZE WHEN I STARTED THE ADOPTION PROCESS 2 YEARS AGO THAT I WOULD NOT BE ALLOWED TO HAVE FEELINGS.

posted by Ginger--Maya's mommy @ 12:36 PM  

15 Comments:

  • At 12:56 PM, Blogger Lori said…

    I'm praying that your lawyer is sooooo busy working on your case, that he doesn't have time to respond!! I really hope and pray that you get word that you have been in and are going to be out on your next visit!!! Or better....you can bring her home!!! Hang in there, Ginger, it is extremely hard! This process is NOT for the faint of heart!! You are a strong woman for stepping out in faith and responding to your heart and call to adopt!! Way to go!!! It's not easy, you can cry and let it all out!! It's apart of the healing!!! Praying for Maya and your case!!

     

  • At 1:41 PM, Blogger Ellie said…

    CRAP CRAP CRAP... DARN those ATTORNEY'S... I can't work with them, but you can't work without them...(OR CAN WE!)

    Ok, now... I am going to take you on a journey...

    As you read this, become really relaxed, close your eyes... I mean it, now, close your eyes.... YOU ARE PEEKING.... CLOSE THEM.... I SAID CLOSE THEM...ASK ME HOW I KNOW YOU ARE PEEKING... YOU KNOW WHAT I AM TELLING YOU WHAT TO DO.... STOP GIGGLING... THIS WON'T WORK IF YOU KEEP YOUR EYES OPEN AND YOU GIGGLE.... OK NOW.... READY....I KNOW YOU ARE PEEKING......OK THIS ISN'T WORKING....

    TRY THIS.... Read this first then do it....

    Close your eye and relax, clear your mind of your thoughts..... Think of the very first time you took Maya in your arms... remember the first time you smelt her, picture her in your arms, feel her in your arms, feel her close to your face, smell that sweet little baby... your arms are feeling heavy, your have her with you, hold on to her, hold on to that thought.... FOREVER... Then open your eyes and realize, she will be with you the same way she was with you on your journey...

    I know when people say hang in there, you are about ready to say something not so nice... I remember I hated to hear people tell me that... Sometimes i would picture myself hanging, tounge out all... Get it... I was hanging in there....

    HUGS, and call me if you need to talk.

    Ellie

     

  • At 1:59 PM, Blogger Alleen said…

    I hate that you're feeling so down and worried about your case. It's not uncommon for people to find out after the fact that they've already been in PGN for a week or so. I hope that's the case for you.

     

  • At 2:55 PM, Blogger Corey said…

    I began two years ago as well, I came to the end of my rope... I just had to get a longer rope... Sophie is worth the wait... the twins are worth the wait.. MAYA IS DEFINATELY worth the wait... GET A LONGER ROPE... Hang in there :)

     

  • At 4:39 PM, Blogger Lori and Robby said…

    Thinking of you and feeling your frustration!!! I am with Alleen -- hopefully something is happening that you haven't heard about yet.

     

  • At 4:55 PM, Blogger Kylie's Mommy said…

    Ginger,

    Never apologize for sharing your feelings on your blog. That is what we are here for. We are all going thru the same thing and really need to leen on each other during the down times.

    Feel free to email me anytime.

    Dottie

     

  • At 5:14 PM, Blogger Mackenzie's Forever Family said…

    Ginger-
    I am lifting you up in prayers tonight girl. I know how unbelievably hard it is right now. No news is not good news when you're in the journey of adoption. All you really want is some sort of update..Just some news. I get it and I'm sorry that you feel you can't express yourself. Just remember if you don't feel you can spill your heart on this blog-You know you can to God..He's your best friend in this whole deal. COntinue to look to up to Him..He will lead you in the right direction. Email me if you ever need to vent. meganwalker9@aol.com

    Megan

     

  • At 5:28 PM, Blogger Farrah said…

    Ginger I am one who knows where you are. Look at my case, Madisyn was 2 months and 3 days and we entered PGN..I went through Thanksgiving without her home, I went through Christmas without her home, And just when I thought I could take NO more, I get the call that I am out. NOW I have No worries because I know my little angel butt is coming home. Don't lose hope, Maybe you will be a 4 weeker PGNer...Does that make sense? I hope you have better feeling toward yourself,And I'm also here to tell you that this will make you sick, You just have to give it to the Lord and let him work it out. After 8 months from Referrel to OUT my little on is coming home, And Maya will too!

     

  • At 6:19 PM, Blogger Nan and Dan said…

    So sorry this process is getting you down. I have had a tough time this week especially. It is always hardest just before I visit. I just wish this process was straightforward and quick! These babies need to get home!

     

  • At 6:28 PM, Blogger bodegalee said…

    We really need to get you one of those "Damn It" dolls Seegal posted on her blog awhile back!! Because YES....you are allowed to scream, vent, cry....yell.. hit pillows.... BUT as one of your recent posts said "DO NOT give up".. well we wont let you Ginger... and I know you wont let yourself.. you're just pissed right now AND with good reason. I'm praying you hear something very, very soon that in fact your case is progressing. Eat chocolate, pizza, drink wine, spend time with friends... do what supports you right now.. BUT know one thing.. Maya is coming home and needs you!! AND you need her (gee am I saying anything you dont already know :) Take good care Ginger.. I'm so sorry for your crappy day! Lots of folks out here supporting you tho!! Truly.....
    Leigh

     

  • At 7:20 PM, Blogger Kim said…

    I'm sorry you are feeling so down. I don't know if this helps, but we found out we were in PGN 4 weeks after we were in. It upset me at first, but then I was like - I just got through 4 weeks, and I didn't even know it!!! (and we were out in 6....it CAN HAPPEN) I'll be praying for you (and Maya!)

     

  • At 9:05 AM, Blogger kate said…

    Hey, Ginger. Now that you've gone private is it possible for you to tell us what happened that makes you think your adoption is in jeopardy? I can't imagine how a blog comment could do that!

    I have a necklace a friend made me to wear when things seem utterly unfair. (It was for theatre, but I find it helpful for adoption.) It's a giant screw on a chain. Sometimes just wearing this in silent protest makes me feel better. I know it's crazy and not very edifying..

    (Ellie, your comment cracked me up!)

     

  • At 9:41 AM, Blogger Crystal said…

    OOOOH Ginger I just read this--honey honey hang in there I am praying for you --I have said this before vent, scream do anyhting you want we are all here for you--I am going to put this all back into God's hand he has this all under his control I know he does oooh honey I know it is all going to be Okay I know it is Maya is your heart and she belongs wiht you --You are going to be the very best mommy for her!!! Hang in there I am praying for you--thank you so much for such sweet sweet commments--I have not had a chance to post it yet but we took pictures of the gifts you sent us and I am going to do a very special post for you!!! I love ya girlie hang in there he has it in his hands!!!! xoxoxo

     

  • At 12:15 PM, Blogger Calico Sky said…

    you know I pray for you both each and every day. You will hear soon, I just know it...

     

  • At 12:16 PM, Blogger Calico Sky said…

    p.s. you didn't screw up, you just love Maya like any mommy does, you need to love and protect her. You are just what she needs, a mama who moves heaven and earth to get her home!!!

     

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Location: Alabama, United States

I am a single mother with a daughter from Guatemala. I brought her home on August 21st, 2007. I am loving every second of motherhood. Maya is the love of my life. I can't imagine life without her. I thank God everyday that she is home in my arms.

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