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MAYA'S ADOPTION JOURNEY

WELCOME TO MY JOURNEY TO BRING MY DAUGHTER, MAYA GRACE HOME FROM GUATEMALA. DURING THIS JOURNEY I HAVE STUMBLED OVER MANY MOUNTAINS ONLY TO BUILD MY FAITH. THIS HAS BEEN ONE OF THE HARDEST JOURNEY'S OF MY LIFE AND IT HAS THE GREATEST PRIZE AT THE END. I CAN'T WAIT FOR THEM TO PLACE MY DAUGHTER IN MY ARMS FOREVER. MY DREAMS WILL THEN BE REALITY!!!

Lilypie 2nd Birthday Ticker

Wednesday, February 07, 2007

MY HEART IS BREAKING!!!

I DON'T HOW MUCH LONGER I CAN DO THIS. MY STRENGTH IS SLOWLY BEING SUCKED OUT OF ME. I AM TIRED!! I HAD A CO-WORKER ASK ME LAST NIGHT "WHY DON'T YOU JUST FORGET ABOUT THIS ADOPTION, YOU ARE NEVER GOING TO BRING A BABY HOME". IT WAS LIKE SHE SLAPPED ME IN THE FACE. I WANTED TO KNOCK HER OUT!!! DON'T WORRY, I DIDN'T. I HAVE BEEN THINKING THAT MAYBE SHE IS RIGHT. MAYBE I SHOULD JUST FORGET ABOUT IT. HOWEVER, MY HEART WILL NOT LET MY FORGET ABOUT MY DAUGHTER. I STILL HAVE A LITTLE FIGHT IN ME. I AM JUST GETTING VERY WEAK. I KNOW IN MY HEART THAT MAYA IS MY DAUGHTER AND THAT SHE WILL BE HOME ONEDAY. I CANNOT TURN MY BACK ON HER. SHE IS JUST A BABY. SHE CAN'T HELP WHAT IS HAPPENING TO ME. IT IS NOT HER FAULT. EVERYTHING THAT HAS HAPPENED OVER THE PAST COUPLE OF WEEKS HAS DRAINED MY EXCITEMENT OF BECOMING A MOTHER. I CAN'T EVEN GET EXCITED ABOUT MY VISIT IN 21 DAYS. I FEEL SO GUILTY ABOUT THAT. I HAVE PACKED HER CLOTHES TWICE HOPING THAT I WOULD GET EXCITED. I AM JUST SO SCARED AND CONFUSED RIGHT NOW. I HAVE SO MANY QUESTIONS WITHOUT ANSWERS. I JUST DON'T HAVE CLUE WHAT TO DO. ALL I KNOW TO DO RIGHT NOW, IS PRAY.

posted by Ginger--Maya's mommy @ 1:09 PM  

24 Comments:

  • At 1:24 PM, Blogger kellyaubuchon said…

    Don't give up on you and Maya. She is your daughter and she will be home with you.
    And as far as your coworker goes--- How dare her say something like that. That is terrible! Maybe she needs a slap in the face. People are inconsiderate and RUDE!!
    Just keep thinking of Maya and the next time you will see her! Keep your hopes up--you are right Maya is a baby and doesn't have a clue what is going on so she needs her mom. As Maya gets older she will know how hard you fought for her and prayed for her to be with you. So be strong!

     

  • At 1:30 PM, Blogger Mary said…

    Ginger, I am so, so sorry that someone you work with could be that cruel! You will bring Maya home. You have every right to be scared and confused after all the crap you have gone through! I'm praying right along with you. When you get a chance, could you e-mail me please (cat_lady_of_2@yahoo.com)

    ((((HUGS))))

     

  • At 2:08 PM, Blogger Alleen said…

    You cannot and will not give up. I would have laid into that lady and probably would have decked her.

    You have a lawyer who apparently doesn't sense the urgency of getting your case moved along, but I do believe it will happen, just unfortunately not as quickly as it should have.

    Find strength somewhere to get you through the rest of this for your sweet Maya.

    I wish there were something I could do or say, but I know there isn't. Just know I'm here. You have my email.

     

  • At 2:14 PM, Blogger Julie said…

    Ginger - this is nuts! I so hope you get some news soon! I'm amazed for as much as you've visited her that THAT doesn't put some sort of bee in your attorney's bonnet to get this done & have Maya on her way home! Keep the faith that your daughter will be with you and home. Hopefully, all of this will just be a story to put in her lifebook someday so she can really know how just much she knows her Mommy fought for them to be together. It WILL happen!!

    P.S. Your co-worker is an idiot!

     

  • At 2:47 PM, Blogger Natalie said…

    Your co-worker is NOT right...you should not just give up. That beautiful baby IS yours and you will be her mommy no matter what it takes. You know this and CAN do it!

    I'm here for you.

     

  • At 2:49 PM, Blogger Shelby said…

    I can not believe she had the nerve to say that to you. That is so cold and heartless.
    I wish had the words to make you feel better. In my heart I pray for Maya to get home to you so your dreams can be realized. It took me 13 years to get my daughter. Don't give up.. Later in her life she will know how you fought for her and she will love you all the more for it.
    Shelby

     

  • At 4:23 PM, Blogger Unknown said…

    You know in your heart you can never give up on Maya. Just remember when it seems you're at your lowest there is no place to go but up, and it WILL get better. I hope SOMEONE in your agency is supporting you, and trying to get you some answers. Your coworker is an insensitive jerk, and probably is a very unhappy person. Those people always try to drag others down with them.
    Ginger, focus on your goal, your prize. The journey itself sucks right now. Pick a project you can really delve into to make yourself feel really productive while you wait. Maya needs you to not give up.
    Jeanne

     

  • At 4:43 PM, Blogger Kylie's Mommy said…

    Keep fighting Ginger. Maya is depending on you.

    You will be a great mommy so don't let what is going on spoil your visit with your baby.

    She will come home and those that do not support you do not belong in your life. Go Ginger.. Go Ginger

     

  • At 4:55 PM, Blogger Sig said…

    Would I have loved to be with you when that bit....co-worker said that to you. I owuld have slapped her silly.
    DOn't give up Ginger. It will all be worth it in the end..

     

  • At 5:40 PM, Blogger nikki said…

    Ginger,
    Your co-worker is just crule.
    Don't give up, just try and find the strength for Maya.
    I wish there was something we could do.
    Is there any chance you could speak to the lawyers when you are down there, or look into another person who could help your case.
    I continue to pray for you and Maya
    Nikki

     

  • At 6:21 PM, Blogger Farrah said…

    Ginger, I'm one here to tell you people at work say stupid things. They never thought I would bring Madisyn home either,OH the comments I got...Made me want to throw up! BUT you know what 8 months and 3 days later I will be holding my little girl and guess what she isn't going back to FM this time, She is coming home. It will happen NO TIME OR REASON why it takes longer for some than others but it does happen and you cannot lose hope. Your baby needs you..She has already had some people in her life make life changing choices, you have to be Strong, And never never give up. Show people how stong you can be. And get excited about your trip, She will be waiting for you with open arms.

     

  • At 6:33 PM, Blogger Tricia said…

    GINGER........................

    This waiting is the WORST. The absolute WORST!!!

    Maya is getting older every day and you just want to be with her. I understand. It is such a painful thing.

    Hang tough, girl. I am thinking of you & praying for yoU!

     

  • At 6:44 PM, Blogger bodegalee said…

    OK Ginger, which hospital are you at? I'm gonna come kick some butt!! NOT really, but how dare she? I suspect said person is a generally tacky, callous, unempathetic person to begin with because if she had any kind of solid quality to her personality she would never have said that... AND you're NOT giving up... NADA.. NEVER.. we will not let you.. Maya wont let you! She's your daughter and your family and WILL be coming home soon despite how hopeless it seems somedays... Go back in your wonderful blog and read your awesome post about "not giving up"... I know you have and know you're not... but just trying to do a little "ra-ra" cheerleading.. (not my general strong suit so sorry if it sucks!) You have to figure if the average person simply had to figure out how to put together an "average " dossier together and submit it to the Fertility Gods to get pregnant , that act alone would eliminate MANY from conception.. You then add the dreaded wait... the political mumbo-jumbo... the roller coaster and it can seem endless. Then throw in just for good measure, the inequity of it all - whereby Suzy Q's case goes great and baby is home in a few months and Brenda B's child is home in 2 years.. No rhyme nor reason. The Good News is that when Maya comes home you're gonna be the best parent because you've already experienced some of the most difficult aspects of parenthood "fighting for your child".. It def. gives you a thick skin.. Suddenly the little things dont mater anymore and the WAY more important things are the things that stand out and you can concentrate on. Hang in there... You're a great mom!! You are and Maya is waiting for you!!

     

  • At 8:12 PM, Blogger Ellie said…

    Honey you need to slip that co-worker of your some Exlax... She apparently needs to learn that the crap she says should be coming out the other end... Why deck her... You would only hurt your hand... But then again... You work with the public... she should would look pretty with a nice black and blue shiner!!!

    OH MY GOODNESS... Did I say all that? Couldn't have... IT must have been my evil twin....

    Of all the people I know you are one of the most strongest people I have known. You have the strength, I know you do... Debra knows you do... You have been through A LOT, in the past....And you found the strength to start the adoption... SO MISSY... Maya needs you and YOU NEED HER... so NO MORE TALK ABOUT GIVING UP... YOU CAN DO IT...

    WE CAN DO IT... THink of Dora the Explorer... She never gives up, and once Maya is home we will all say...

    WE DID IT!!! WE DID IT!!!

    OK!!

    HUGS

     

  • At 2:35 AM, Blogger Calico Sky said…

    Ginger, I can't believe that woman said that, how dare she? I can never understand mean comments, don't people realize how cruel their words are?
    You do still have fight left, you really really do. I know it. Just focus on Maya and it will get you through.
    BIG HUGS and PRAYERS!!!!

     

  • At 6:59 AM, Blogger Corey said…

    Seriously, tell me where I can find this co-worker so I CAN KNOCK her out!!
    That is beyond awful!
    You have more fight in you!!! I know exactly how you feel, 14 months to get Luke home, but every heart ache I went through was worth it!
    Sometimes its easier to try to detach during this process, especially for long adoption cases, but no matter how hard you try to detach, it won't happen. Maya is yours in your heart and every other sense, don't let stupid people ruin that (facilitators included)

     

  • At 7:58 AM, Blogger Kim said…

    HUGS!!! I'm so sorry your energy is zapped. Try to draw your strength from people who love you.

    "For who is God besides the Lord? And who is the Rock except our God? It is God who arms me with strength and makes my way perfect. He makes my feet like the feet of a deer; he enables me to stand on the heights." (Psalm 18: 31-33)

     

  • At 9:52 AM, Blogger Wendy said…

    Ginger, you are so much stronger than that woman gave you credit for. Maya has a wonderful mom and don't forget it. The road may be long and broken, but it will end with your miracle girl.

     

  • At 12:43 PM, Blogger Holly said…

    Ginger, I am so sorry you're going through all this. Have you thought about using one of the adoption assistance groups to help out your case?

    Your co-worker has an ice cold heart, shame on her. SHAME.

    What goes around comes around and you've got some great things coming...don't lose hope or give up. Maya WILL come home.

     

  • At 3:19 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said…

    Do not listen to those crazy people- they do not understand the process, the heartache, the excitement...all the emotions that are involved.
    And don't you give up either. Maya needs you...and you need her. We are here to support you, and do our best to lift you up and give you strength.
    My prayers are with you!!
    stephanie

     

  • At 4:21 PM, Blogger Courty said…

    Hey Ginger! Like the Burp-ity-burb bib said...."Worth The Wait" YOUR baby Maya is worth the wait! Maya deserves a moma that loves her and you are the one!!! Don't give it up!

     

  • At 6:25 PM, Blogger Nan and Dan said…

    Your baby is waiting for you!! This system just stinks!
    I hope you hear good news soon!

     

  • At 9:20 PM, Blogger Andrea said…

    Don't give up- don't ever give up! That gorgeous little girl needs her mommy, no matter how long it takes. She grows in your heart every day- it's a long 'pregnancy', but you're making it through! Hang in there, Ginger! Do not give up!

    And next time that coworker makes a rude comment, just kindly direct her to any one of us. We'll set her straight for you! :)

     

  • At 9:02 AM, Blogger Betsy said…

    Aww, Ginger. I know you are in such pain. You WILL make it through this. I KNOW you will. This is the "stretch mark" stage. Pretty soon Maya will be "out".
    Keep praying, turn over. Remember God can do the "impossible".

     

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About Me

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Location: Alabama, United States

I am a single mother with a daughter from Guatemala. I brought her home on August 21st, 2007. I am loving every second of motherhood. Maya is the love of my life. I can't imagine life without her. I thank God everyday that she is home in my arms.

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